Indian parents have shared a turbulent relationship with Horoscope (Kundali) over the years. It started off as a staunch belief in astrology – and to be sure, we cannot discount the fact that ancient practitioners of astrology probably did have a deep understanding of the various paths someone’s life could take. It is just a possibility.
Over the centuries though, this art / science has been distilled into the form of a bunch of rituals and practices that no one understands, but everyone believes – as long as it suits their purpose.
How many times have we seen this scenario in our own families and friends’ lives? This is more so in the case of parents who are thinking about getting their daughter married. Make no mistake, this lady in question will be well-educated, independent, emancipated and a person with free will. But when it comes to marriage, everyone toes the line.
When the lady in question is still in the ‘marriage’-able (really?) age, they have the most stringent horoscope requirements – it has to be a 100% match, along with a perfect family background and financial stability. As her friends’ circle starts getting married and the parents feel a slight nervousness, they relax the constraints to say that a partial horoscope match and a ‘decent’ family is good enough, one can’t be too choosy now! Once the lady approaches the big three-oh (30 years), all hell breaks loose and panic sets in – they are willing to marry her off to anyone from the same religion, let alone even look at the horoscope. Our daughter is still unmarried! What will society think? Well, what will society think if you marry her off to the wrong sort and she has a divorce from a good-for-nothing man, or worse, live in an unhappy marriage? As the lady crosses 32-33, everybody resigns themselves to the fact that they would be happy if she just gets married to any ‘man’ (hypocrisy again, why not to a woman?). Note – the woman, through all this, has remained well-educated, independent, emancipated and a person with free will.
The good news is, times are changing and the women (and men) are asserting their beliefs. More importantly, parents are definitely more liberal now than they were even 3-4 years ago. They strive for a balance between the modern and the traditional, between a horoscope match and emotional compatibility, between the individual’s happiness and the family’s happiness. We at HatkeShaadi, definitely see this trend, with a lot of our members actually referred by parents and many of our members actually creating their profiles along with their parents or siblings.
Here’s to more positive change in the coming years!