We all have at least one of them in our lives – the various types of single women around us. They are confident, yet vulnerable; they are independent, yet need a companion; they are achievers, yet want a balanced life. The essential modern Indian woman who is at the crossroads while looking for the perfect man for her.
1) The Total Package
The total package is a perfect combination of beauty and brains – right from the top college to the trendsetting hairstyle – she’s got everything going for her. What’s more, she’s not shallow – she works with charities and knows how to let her hair down with her varying interests, when she wants. Only catch – a guy worthy of her awesomeness.
She’s constantly waging a mental battle between superhuman standards and her terror of being on the wrong side of the big three-oh (30) and single – because 30 and single is a big no-no when she’s the Total Package.
2) The Girl Who Has to Marry Someone of the Same Religion or Her Parents Will Never Speak to Her Again
It’s hard enough to find someone interesting to be your life partner, and this girl’s parents are really not making things any easier. At the slightest mention of a boyfriend, the names of all the Gods and Goddesses were invoked in an attempt to rid her of an ‘evil’ spirit messing with her head. Generations of arranged (dysfunctional) marriages in the same religion and community from four generations were provided as examples. But after her last boyfriend got the cold shoulder by her parents, followed by an interrogation to put the CIA to shame, she gave up on that.
Better to toe the line than to aggravate one’s parents, and all the dead ancestors, lest they be shoved out of heaven due to her antics!
3) The Normal Girl Who Just Hasn’t Met the Right Guy Yet and Really Wishes People Would Stop Looking at Her With Those Pitying Eyes
She likes where she is on her career graph, she likes her friends and the freedom to go gallivanting to Europe if she so desires, and she likes being single just fine. She’s in no rush to jump into a relationship with the next available guy and feels totally confident that at some point, she’ll meet Mr Right and get married.
She’s also not quite sure why everyone who knows her is trying to figure out “what the problem is.” She appreciates all the subtle and not-so-subtle hints that she’s reached the ‘marriageable’ age. It would be just great if people left her alone so she could just find the right guy!
4) The Divorcee Who is Sort of Walking a Thin-Edged Sword
Without knowing the whys and whats of her previous marriage, the DWISOWATES is subjected to thinly veiled accusations of destroying her previous marriage, thus taking on the mantle of the unofficial blacksheep of the family. And if there are kids to boot, then the accusations become not-so-thinly-veiled, blaming her for depriving the kids of a ‘wonderful’ father.
She doesn’t quite fit in with her single friends, who are starry-eyed about their not-so-distant future weddings, and her happily married friends, who are bewildered about her failed marriage. She has some trust issues – who doesn’t? She has what you might call baggage – who doesn’t? And the idea of jumping back into the dating pool makes her want to curl into a ball and just sleep for days on end!
5) The Sheryl Sandberg Wannabe
The SSW is out to prove to all around her that she is tough as nails. She can often be found wearing sharp business suits which might nick you if you get close enough – ouch! She spends her every waking and non-waking moment thinking about that detail in the contract she’s negotiating – on page 145, paragraph 7, line 12, word 9. Yep, she knows the contract by heart and can quote the exact word as illustrated above. Careerwise, she is midway up the corporate ladder and is consumed with making it to the top in the next 5 years.
She thinks about dating, and even goes out with a relatively nice guy once in a while. But all men she meets turn out to be either total jerks with Mommy Complexes or Braying Asses or the Repressed Misogynists. But she holds out hope for that elusive guy who can complement her and have a true shared earning / shared parenting lifestyle.
6) The Upbeat Duckling
The Duckling is … well … upbeat. Even when nothing is going the way she thought it would, she’s upbeat. This personality makes her everyone’s best pal, the sympathetic ear for the emotionally conflicted, and the fun aunt who is the best grownup buddy for her friends’ kids. It doesn’t hurt that she also buys the most thoughtful birthday presents. Another plus for her is that she bakes – cupcakes, scones, banana bread, croissants, and what have you!
She has a large circle of friends, but she wishes there was someone close by, like next to her, in her hour of need. Her past relationships tended toward the commitment-phobic men, but she maintains a cheerful countenance as she keeps her eyes open.
7) The Girl Who Has Left it to Fate
She once believed in the whole fairly-tale-happily-ever-after crap peddled by the romantic movies/novels that she keeps on her bedside table. She gamely tried every available avenue – go on blind dates, try online dating, meet prospective ‘eligible’ bachelors shoved by her well-meaning family members, and even go to popular hangouts with her friends – all in the hopes of finding Mr Perfect Soul Mate.
All the guys she met had something or the other wrong with him – one was shorter than her; one dressed in loud colors; one was too in touch with his feminine side; one had odious body odor (ewwww!); one had a full bushy beard, reminiscent of a cave man, well, you get the hint.
So, she has completely given up on actively pursuing any avenue to find her soul mate – content to let life bring her the right person. Come to think of it, she has abandoned hope to find Mr Right, and is even willing to settle for Mr Good Enough. But, Fate, it seems, is determined to try her patience in her pursuit of the elusive contentment.
Know any more types of single women? Tell us in the comments!